EEC regulations and donkey crap

A further setback on the burroeaucracy front tonight.

I have just been told by the seller’s vet that my ‘sanitation programme’ for the Ministry of Agriculture approval, has to demonstrate that I have a concrete shed with a waterproof roof and a concrete floor, which can hold six months donkey crap.

The new EEC regulations require that the Ph levels of animal waste need to be reduced in dry conditions before they are used as fertilizer, so a shed adequate to hold six months’ waste must be constructed before approval for the donkeys can be given.

When I said, “But everyone puts animal waste on their gardens!” the vet told me that it was a pointless law but I would nevertheless have to build the structure to get approval, evemn if nobody would ever monitor the storing of the waste.

This is Alice in Wonderland and I begin to think that buying two donkeys is now an impossibility! They are making the laws and the paperwork quite impossible. All around me there are people with horses and donkeys and they are not registered. The new laws only came in last year and they don’t require existing establishments to be registered. If you are a new buyer of equines, you end up getting the full paperwork routine which is impossible and unworkable.

I have no idea how this will work out, but at the moment I despair of the whole business.

UPDATE Everyone locally who keeps horses says that microchipped animals do not need all this burrocratic nonsense. The whole point of the microchip is to remove any need for paperwork regarding movements of animals! Madness!

And now, thanks to contacts established this evening, a stables next to my school (!) will take my donkeys temporarily, while I try to solve the long term arrangements…

Bloody hell. I’m worn out … This is worse than an OFSTED inspection…


About Gareth Thomas

After a mixed career as an aircraft technician, London fringe theatre playwright, Franciscan friar, and secondary school teacher, I find myself looking after the needs of four donkeys in a remote location in the mountains in the Costa Blanca. I like to listen to BBC Radio 4 and the wind in the pine trees. I am writing a comedy about a school in Benidorm. My favourite film of all time is "Jean de Florette". If I had my time again I would not have spent the early 1970s working for Special Branch.
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2 Responses to EEC regulations and donkey crap

  1. Barbara says:

    Could you just take the donkey crap to the Town Hall? I expect the entrance hall would be large enough 😉

  2. Frere Rabit says:

    Ho ho! How is the walk with Dalie? I wish I was walking with Dalie, rather than plodding along through a burroaucratic Kafka world of meaningless unanswerable questions…

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