A visit from the new equine vet

I have not had time to write up the latest news, as I am back in school at the start of the new term and also I had family staying until today, so it has been a hectic week. The new vet came on Tuesday, a very helpful specialist equine vet called Alicia, who came highly recommended by local people with horses. She did a thorough internal examination of the two donkeys.

Poor Matilde was first and she did not like it at all. We had a real fight on our hands. Alicia made me hold Matilde by her ears, twisted around so she would not move too much. I did not like doing that to Matilde and I held her ears too lightly, so she broke free and trod on my foot!

It was a surprise when Alicia, at the end of her probing, said, “There’s nothing there. Nothing at all.”

Has Matilde been faking it all this time, to mirror the genuinely pregnant Rubi? It is a mystery. Even the vet says Matilde looks pregnant. But females who are close together can sometimes behave as if they are pregnant ‘in sympathy’. How weird. Why would you want to do that?

Then Alicia did an examination of Rubi and said there is a live foal ready to come out. It could arrive any time, but in three weeks at the latest! That is pretty bad luck for my daughter Alys, who flew home today after five weeks of hoping to see a new-born foal. However, now that I am back at work, there has been sufficient interest among teachers to propose a barbecue at my place in the second week in October – when it is still warm and sunny here (gloat…) – in order to welcome the new foal.

Having believed from the outset that Matilde was the pregnant donkey, I still find it hard to believe that this stroppy little feather-headed two-year old donkey Rubi is going to be a mother. As a teacher of Key Stage 3 pupils over a long period, and having suffered the irrational excesses of rude fourteen year old girls on their worst behaviour, I can’t help seeing Rubi as a donkey who never does her homework, chats her way through the play reading of Romeo and Juliet, gets caught smoking on the school bus and ends up pregnant so she doesn’t have to suffer the indignity of studying GCSEs.


About Gareth Thomas

After a mixed career as an aircraft technician, London fringe theatre playwright, Franciscan friar, and secondary school teacher, I find myself dividing my time mostly between looking after the needs of four donkeys in a remote location in the mountains in the Costa Blanca and preparing a legal case against the corrupt management of my monstrous last employer - the Elians group - for unfair dismissal. I like to hear the wind in the pine trees. I do not like struggling to get a duvet into a duvet cover. My musical tastes are extinct and I have mostly given up cycle racing.
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2 Responses to A visit from the new equine vet

  1. RatBag says:

    How very strange that Matilde had a phantom pregnancy! Perhaps you should find her a boyfriend so that she can have a real pregnancy and won’t need to pretend. Good luck to Rubi, the exasperating teenager 😉 She’ll have to grow up quickly.

  2. Wall Eyed Mr Whippy says:

    I fully understand the comments about 14 year old rude girls. Their hormones shouldn’t be visited on others. I’d rather talk to a donkey anyday. They don’t shriek and giggle for one thing. A bit of bass braying is actually quite nice -from donks I mean, not brats.

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